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How to Write Good...Fun Ways to Remember Writing Rules

Copy the following WRITING RULES (Writing Section):

1.Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2.Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)
3.Also, always avoid awkward, affected, and annoying alliteration, which is almost always alienating.
4.Don't use no double negatives.
5.Avoid excessive use of ampersands & abbrevs., etc.
 

 

 

Add to your list of Writing Rules (Writing Section):

6.One-word sentences? Eliminate.
7.No sentence fragments.
8.Be more or less specific.
9.Being a careful writer, dangling modifiers are always avoided.
10.Foreign words and phrases are not invariably à propos.
 

 

Add to your list of Writing Rules (Writing Section):

11.All generalizations are bad.
12.Comparisons can be as bad as clichés.
13.“Avoid ‘overuse of “quotation” marks.’”
14.Use brackets to indicate that you [not Shakespeare, for example] are giving people [but not illiterate people] information so that they [the readers] know about whom you are speaking [writing]. Do not use brackets [excessively] when making these references [to other authors].
 

 

 

Add to your list of Writing Rules (Writing Section):

15.(Also avoid (as in the last rule) overuse of parentheses [or brackets {or braces <or other symbols for parenthetical thoughts>.}]).
16.Your adverbs usually should follow your verbs.
17.Spell out numbers of fewer than 3 syllables.
18.Analogies in writing can be like feathers on a snake.
19.The passive voice is to be avoided.
20.Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.
 

 

 

Add to your list of Writing Rules (Writing Section):

21.Eschew obfuscation.
22.Don’t overuse exclamation points!!!
23.Avoid run-on sentences, they are as hard to read as this example about my eighty-one-year-old grandmother who still rides her Harley motorcycle her toy poodle balanced in a basket between the handlebars.
24.A careful writer will not shift your point of view.
25.Rereed your work to cheque for spilling misteaks.
 

 

 

Add to your list of Writing Rules (Writing Section):

26.Forsooth, avoid archaisms.
27.Steer clear of incorrect verb forms that have snuck into the language.
28.Place pronouns as closely as possible, especially in long sentences, like this one, to their antecedents.
29.Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
30.Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
 

 

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31.And rarely start a paragraph or a sentence with a conjunction.
32.Contractions aren't always necessary and shouldn't be used to excess, so don’t.
33.Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; avoid pleonasms; such writing is highly superfluous, prolix, and overweighted with verbiage.
34.Use the apostrophe in it's proper place; omit it when its not needed; and use it correctly with words’ that show possession.
35.If you've heard it once, you've heard it a billion times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a gazillion can use it effectively.
 

 

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36.Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
37.Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
38.Who needs rhetorical questions? . . . However, what if there were no rhetorical questions?
39.Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
40.People don’t spell "a lot" correctly alot of the time. They also don't spell "all right" alright.
 

 

Add to your list of Writing Rules (Writing Section):

41.Each person should use their possessive pronouns correctly.
42.You'll look poorly if you misuse adverbs.
43.Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
44.Also proofread carefully to make sure you don’t repeat repeat any words.
45.Avoid "buzz-words"; such integrated transitional scenarios in a matrixed environment will induce a coma factor in those who are impacted.
 

 

Add to your list of Writing Rules (Writing Section):

46.Never, ever "beg the question" unless you are talking about petitio principii, or use "impact" as a verb unless you are talking about wisdom teeth.
47.The dash, a — sometimes — useful punctuation mark, can — often — be overused.
48.If an old-fashioned grammarian like Miss Thistlebottom tells you that "data" is the plural of "datum" and needs a plural verb ("The data are accurate"), ask what to do about opera, agenda, erotica, insignia, and similar "plurals."
49.Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
50.It is important to use italics for emphasis sparingly.
 

 

 

Add to your list of Writing Rules (Writing Section):

51.In good writing, for good reasons, under normal circumstances, whenever you can, use prepositional phrases in limited numbers and with great caution.
52.Unless you're a righteous expert, don't try to be too cool with slang to which you're not hip.
53.Avoid going out on tangents unrelated to your subject — that is, your topic, not subject as in, subject of a ruler, as Francis Bacon was a subject of Queen Elizabeth, who ruled England, the source of English muffins. . . .
54.Use the ellipsis [. . .] to indicate missing . . .
55.In English, unlike German or Latin, the verb early in the sentence, not at the end, should be placed.
 

 

 

Add to your list of Writing Rules (Writing Section):

56.When you write sentences, shifting verb tense was always a bad idea.
57.I would like to assert that the use of many, many terms to describe a fairly simple idea should always be considered prolix, if not excessively wordy.
58.Don’t use too many quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."